Why Every Middle Manager Needs Support and Structure—Especially Neurodivergent Ones

I remember navigating the challenges of middle management feeling like walking a tightrope—balancing the expectations of senior leadership while simultaneously supporting my team below. It was often lonely, and stress management became a daily necessity. We hear a lot about the need for "agility," "resilience," and strong people skills in management. While that’s all true, it’s much easier to talk about than to actually put into practice. I made plenty of mistakes, and looking back, I now realise that ADHD likely played a role in many of them.

The constant juggle of competing priorities, office politics, and misunderstandings from different stakeholders often left me overwhelmed. Middle management is a constant balancing act—translating big-picture strategy into daily actions while managing expectations from both above and below. For neurodivergent managers, this can be even more challenging, with miscommunication, feeling misunderstood, and unclear processes adding to the stress.

I remember one situation where I just couldn’t let go of a comment that felt unfair. I ruminated on it for days, replaying the conversation over and over in my head. Eventually, I spoke up—bluntly and at the wrong moment—because I just had to get it off my chest. Instead of resolving anything, though, I just ended up damaging a professional relationship. Looking back, I realise I wasn’t just reacting to that one moment; I was reacting to the built-up frustration of feeling misunderstood. In middle management, those small moments can have lasting ripple effects, and even job loss.

So, how does a middle manager—neurodivergent or not—truly master the role? The answer lies in two things: Support and Structure.

Flowers growing in an adverse environment through dry cracked ground

Structures and Systems: Creating Your Own Framework

A key to handling the chaos of middle management is building systems that actually work for you. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach, so it’s worth taking the time to figure out what helps you stay on top of things—whether it’s a project management tool that fits your style, time-blocking to protect your focus, or visual dashboards to keep deadlines in check.

For example, I can't do without my colour-coded calendar these days. I have 7 different calendars with 7 different colours. They include one I share with my husband about family matters, one for personal to-do items, one for urgent priorities, and one for client bookings (and others). It beats having a thousand sticky-notes all over my desk!

Bonus: the more structured you are, the easier it is for your team to follow suit. When they see you using clear systems, they’re more likely to adopt their own, making everything run smoother for everyone

Seeking and Offering Support

Leadership isn’t meant to be a solo mission—it’s a team effort, and the best leaders know when to lean on others. Asking for help isn’t a weakness; it’s a smart move that benefits both you and your team. Just like a building needs structural supports and scaffolding during construction, we too need others to help us stay accountable and provide much-needed support.

Create a culture where support flows both ways—where your team feels safe asking for help, and you’re just as proactive in offering it. Recognising individual challenges builds trust and fosters an environment where everyone can tackle obstacles together.

Don’t forget about your own support system. Mentors, coaches, or even peers who’ve been through it before can offer fresh perspectives and practical strategies for navigating tough times. You don’t have to do it all on your own.

Building with supports underneath and scaffolding around the sides

Don't go it alone!

If you have found yourself in middle-management, and would like a coach or other leadership development support, we at Release Leadership are here to help. It's a brave yet strategic choice to be in management. You have a chance to influence both up and down the hierarchy in your organisation, and to bring about real, lasting change. Let us help you grow in insight and resilience towards an empowered, successful team.

Though we at Release Leadership offer our services to all leaders and managers, if you are a leader with any type of neurodivergence (ADHD, Autism, Dyslexia etc.), you have especially come to the right place. Standard coaching and supervision practices don't always work for you. That's why we have developed services that target your unique needs.

Book a complimentary call to find out how we can support you.

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